light + truth
“Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling! Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God.” -Psalm 43:3-4
I am praying this morning that God’s light and truth would shine forth in eastern Europe. As we awoke to the news that Russia officially declared war on Ukraine, my heart broke for all those living in the war zone. My children and I turned to the Lord in prayer, and I was reminded of the lament that the psalmist recorded in Psalms 42 and 43. I encourage you to take a few minutes right now to read these psalms together as one. Go ahead—you have my permission to stop reading this and open a Bible or Bible app!
Psalms 42 and 43 were distinct psalms, even all the way back to the Hebrew translation; however, they do stand together seamlessly as one song of lament, sharing a common theme and refrain, and it is not known why or when they were separated. In this song, we see the psalmist searching for God—feeling lost, forgotten and rejected. I can too easily imagine our brothers and sisters in Ukraine struggling with feelings like this. Some are literally running for their lives. Let us pray for those suffering today and pray that God’s light and truth would shine brilliantly in the darkness of war.
In Ps. 42:4, the psalmist remembers. He remembers the goodness of the Lord and how he loved to worship and join in the merriment of the festivals. When we are walking through a valley, no matter what that valley is—war, persecution, depression, anxiety, financial insecurity, cancer, divorce, addiction—we must make ourselves remember the goodness of God and His promises to us. In v. 5 he says, “My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you…”
Look at 42:8. This is the turning point of the lament. “By day the LORD commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.” The psalmist still struggles, but he is regaining strength. His circumstances have not changed, but he is clinging to the promises of God. We must do this as well, no matter what horrors life throws at us.
This brings me back to 43:3-4. Here light and truth are personified as guides to the sanctuary of God. Light and truth lead us to the Lord himself. In a similar way, in Ps. 23:6 we see goodness and mercy following David into the sanctuary of God’s presence. “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
Light and truth are like the vanguard, while goodness and mercy serve as the rearguard, protecting the psalmist as he comes into the presence of the Lord. In military terms, the vanguard is the group of soldiers that are moving at the head of the army, whereas the rearguard is the detachment detailed to bring up and protect the rear. This imagery beautifully describes God leading with light and truth and protecting us from behind with goodness and mercy. To take the imagery even further, 43:3 is where I most vividly see Jesus in the lament. Jesus is not just the personification of light and truth; He is the incarnation of it. Look at these verses to see what I mean:
John 1:4-5, “In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
John 1:9, “The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.”
John 8:12, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
John 14:6, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
We can join the psalmist in singing the third refrain of the lament differently because he sees a path to victory. “Why are you downcast, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” He remembers God’s light and truth.
How can we apply this song practically in our own lives? First let’s bring our deepest feelings before the Lord, acknowledging how conflicted we feel. Bare all to Him. Then remember who He is and what He has done. We must speak truth to ourselves and remain confident that we will one day praise him again. Then do it. Praise Him! No matter how defeated and dejected you feel. Praise Him. If you can’t find anything to praise Him about, remember what He has done in the past, acknowledge Him as Creator and the Giver of all. Thank Him for things as little as the smile from a stranger or the blue in the sky.
This is where it gets personal for me. I had to learn the hard way how to remember and rejoice, no matter my circumstances. To make a very long story short, for years I suffered from chronic pain that began in my third pregnancy early in 2011. The worst of it was in my right hip. Just looking at me, you wouldn’t have known it, but I lived day in and day out with an aching, despicable pain in my hip.
Tests, doctors, physical therapists—no one could figure out what was wrong with me. I was beginning to feel crazy. In late 2014, God mercifully placed the right doctors and physical therapist in my life to discover what was happening. The enormity of the diagnosis and necessary surgery hit me like a freight train. I wrestled with tremendous fatigue, as I had been trying to live life normally for 3 ½ years, all the while dealing with pain that was sometimes debilitating. I subsequently sank into a despair unlike any sadness I had ever before felt. Having never personally dealt with depression, I did not think it could possibly be happening to me, of all people. How arrogant and prideful. Depression most certainly humbled me!
Scripture passages helped to lift me up as I remembered the truth of who God is. “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast” (1 Pet. 5:10). “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever” (Ps. 107:1). The Lord eventually lifted me out of that valley.
My diagnosis did not end up being a simple fix, however, and months after the surgery I continued to have significant pain, which led me all the way to the Cleveland Clinic to finally discover a second problem that was compounding the first. God is so good to have revealed it to me, but because of my circumstances, I sank into two more episodes of that absolute despair over the next couple of years, and those valleys were darker than the first. I would cry out regularly, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). In October of 2015 I wrote in my journal,
“I am feeling very low and extremely anxious today…there is so much fog right now that I cannot see outside of my inward thoughts. I have good days and then a situation in my life arises and I sink again…Only He can hold everything together…In an odd way, there is some sense of relief that I have finally admitted and accepted this weakness. For so long I found my identity in my own strength and capability. I talk about relying on the Lord, but I have never before had to rely on Him to this extent, to trust Him that this path is okay for me, to let my defenses down and size up my pride square in the face…I cannot see how God is using this episode for good, but I believe that He is. His Word says so. My sanctification is happening. I know the truth of God’s Word. I don’t always feel it, but I am clinging to Him. I have nothing else.”
I can now see that God was working, and I praise Him for the countless lessons learned and the way He refined my soul, but as I was enduring the pain, I could not figure it out, and trying to figure it out only drove me to darker places. My soul cycled through periods of praise and despair. Sometimes the cycles would be hours, sometimes days, sometimes weeks.
One time I lost ten pounds in just two months because I literally could not make myself eat. I laid awake at night for hours on end, desperate for my anguish to be over. My body felt like it was electrified at times because I was so anxious. Sometimes I felt like a walking zombie. I couldn’t concentrate; I found joy in nothing; I cried out to God all the time and didn’t hear anything in return. Yet He was always there. As Hezekiah declared in Isaiah 38:17, “Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction” (NIV).
In His perfect timing, I was lifted out of my despair. He placed people in my life and gave me tools for healing. I learned that because we live in a fallen world, not only can our bodies break, but our minds can as well. But God really does heal all! One sweet lady who has suffered from chronic disease told me, “Lisa, I learned a prayer that I want to share with you. I pray to God, thank you for the healing that has already come and thank you for the healing that is to come.” One way or another, whether on this earth or after we have passed to the next, we will be healed.
I tell you this to encourage those of you who can resonate with what I have been through. For those who have never suffered in this way, maybe hearing my story can help you better understand and empathize with someone in your life, or maybe it will help fortify you for whatever suffering you will face in the future.
Psalms 42-43 validate feelings of despair. The psalmist was in a dark period of deep suffering. We can all relate to this psalm because every one of us has suffered in some way. The psalmist presents his sorrow to God over and over again. He reminds himself of who God is over and over again. He speaks truth to himself over and over again. At the end, his circumstances remain the same, but his posture toward the Lord is entirely different. Though nothing has changed, everything has changed. So too it can be with us. Even when we are stuck in dire circumstances, God’s steadfast love for us, His hesed, is unchanging, and when we remember this, we can begin to hope again.
As we are reminded to hope in the Lord, let us be diligent to pray for our brothers and sisters across the world, especially those in Ukraine and other war-torn countries, that they would be reminded of the hope we share in Christ.
You should check out this beautiful contemporary adaptation of Psalm 43 by Sandra McCracken. I absolutely love it. It’s called “Send Out Your Light.”
