power in the positive
I remember back through the ages to a time when I was smitten with a handsome young blonde. Blondes had never really been my type, but this one, oh there was just something about him that catapulted my heart into the stratosphere whenever I spotted his bleached blonde hair across the campus lawn. In those early days of our relationship, it was not difficult to envision my future entwined with that of the gorgeous, blue-eyed charmer, nor was it uncommon for inflated romantic dreams to run rampant through my otherwise rational brain. Rose-colored lenses painted happiness over every thought, circumstance, and desire. Life was good.
We all know that what goes up must come down, and that is especially true for young relationships. As is natural for any human relationship, troubles come, difficulties arise, and we are forced to work through our differences. In Brian, I found a man with whom I desired to do the hard work. I remember when he told me how impactful Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking was on his life. Published in 1952, this self-help title was ahead of its time. Many intellectuals and psychologists of Peale’s day found fault with the book, disregarding it as foolishness, but it became a bestseller, nonetheless. As the decades have passed, science has actually affirmed much of what Peale preached.[1] Personally, I have tried to live by many of the principles Brian shared with me all those years ago and have been deeply impacted by Peale’s philosophy, which I believe has assisted us in navigating some of the most treacherous storms of our marriage.
While I was recently reading a newer work from the overpopulated self-help genre, What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, I had an epiphany, one that I am sure countless others have already experienced before me but is still worthy of sharing. In the book, author Shad Helmstetter goes into great detail about the developments that the fields of neuroscience and psychology have seen regarding the science behind positive thinking. Helmstetter first published this bestselling book in 1986 and subsequently updated and revised it over 30 years later, a span of time during which the phenomenon of neuroplasticity, or “the capacity for continuous alteration of the neural pathways and synapses of the living brain and nervous system in response to experience of injury,”[2] has become of subject of uncontested interest.
I find the book to be a riveting read and believe it offers some great insights into the human brain and our capacity to “rewire” our negative neural pathways into positive ones. I do not agree with every method Helmstetter employs, but I agree with the premise he imparts. He writes, “Just wanting to be a positive thinker isn’t enough. You have to wire the new habit into your brain. The human brain says: ‘Give me the directions, the commands, the picture, the schedule, and the results you want. Then I will do it for you. Give me the words.’” Helmstetter encourages a specific practice of self-talk that he developed as a means to accomplish the goal of rewiring the brain.
As I read some of the examples he proposes, I thought, well this sounds a little hokey and a bit like I’d be lying to myself, and that’s when it dawned on me—many of Helmstetter’s ideas are brilliant, but his methods are lacking one fundamental component—God’s truth. For Helmstetter, the self is the ultimate one in control, although he simultaneously flirts with the helpfulness of general spirituality. For the Christian, however, it is God who holds complete power. Helmstetter offers many suggestions of positive self-talk, some of which I find helpful, but many that seem simplistically egocentric. Take this one for example, “I am an exceptional human being. My goals and my incredible belief in myself turn my goals into reality. I have the power to live my dreams. I believe in them like I believe in myself. And that belief is so strong that there is nothing that diminishes my undefeatable spirit” (159). Though there may be truth in this statement for some individuals, that truth is almost certainly conflated with at least some level of wishful thinking. Truth that is not fully truth is, in fact, a lie.
As I read those words and many other self-talk directives penned by the author, I discovered that Helmstetter’s instructions are tragically misguided and ultimately illegitimate. The type of self-talk we actually need would go something like this: I am a child of God, made in His image and beloved. God created me for a purpose that I might glorify His name. I can do all things in His strength through the power of the Holy Spirit. Even when I am weak, He is strong, and by grace He welcomes me into eternal life with Him through my faith in His Son. Jesus is my victory, and He gives my life purpose—to love God and to love others, sharing the Gospel as the ultimate truth in this broken world.
Back to my personal epiphany. As I was reading Helmstetter’s fascinating yet faulty book, God reminded me of a familiar passage from Philippians, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (4:8). As science caught up to Peale’s revolutionary ideas about the power of positive thinking several decades after he published them, so too is science catching up to God’s truth as revealed in Scripture millennia ago! The Lord knows it is easy for us to get caught up in negative thought patterns. Just two verses earlier, Paul is encouraging the Philippians not to worry. He says, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (4:6). The world is full of strife and trouble, and no human being is exempt from that experience. It is an inevitable part of the human condition, but God offers a way to overcome our worry and anxiety. He is the Creator of neuroplasticity. The Lord has the rescue plan, and that plan has a name—Jesus. Verses 7 and 9 talk about the peace that washes over us when we fix our eyes upon Jesus, setting our minds on things above (Col. 3:2).
How often I realize after the fact how beneficial it would have been if I had been thinking about that which is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy before the storm hit. How different my attitude toward the circumstances would have been if I had obeyed God’s Word. Instead of worrying about every possible what-if, I should have gone straight to Him, overflowing with praise and thanks as I implored Him to help me. When I found a lump in my breast a couple years ago, my mind went to outrageously extreme places, all for naught. If this is cancer, I should record videos for the kids. What would Brian do if I died? I’ll need to make it clear that if he falls in love again, he has my blessing and he should marry her if she is good to the kids. She needs to truly love them, though. I’ll have to tell him to make sure she is sincere in committing to our entire family.
Seriously??? I did a flying leap from normal breast cancer screening to the big C and my physical demise and then all the way to planning my husband’s second marriage! It was ridiculous, which is easy for me to say now, but at the time, my fear was so real it seemed to be tangible. If I had been consistently bringing my worries before God, I could have embraced His truth that He has a purpose in everything, no matter what the circumstances are. And even if He called me home at a young age, I could trust His good and perfect plan for our lives. Even when our situations are dire and all seems hopeless, God can provide us with the hope we need as we open ourselves up to Him and focus our minds on Christ. As Romans 8:6 says, “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”
Thousands of years ago, God inspired mere humans to write about the ancient truth of mental positivity because He is our Creator and He knows what is best for us! As we see in Scripture, the power behind God’s version of positive thinking is not blind positivity or simply willing something to be what it is not. Rather, it is positive thinking rooted in the truths of God. The power does not rest in the self; it rests in Jesus Christ. The Bible is not one book among countless others lining the self-help section of Barnes & Noble; the Bible is the book of life. The Lord is not one tool among many used to fix the broken; He is the master carpenter who skillfully wields every tool to restore wholeness to His created beings. God is not simply one modality of healing; He is the Healer. The triune God cannot be stashed into the “spiritual” drawer, which sits next to the “intellectual” drawer and above the “physical” and “emotional” drawers. The eternal God of the Bible, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, God the Father, Son, and Spirit—He is the dresser that houses every drawer and hold all things together (Col. 1:17).[3]
We don’t have to lie to ourselves or use extravagant hyperbole in order to rewire our negative neural pathways, as Helmstetter would suggest, but he does make an excellent point about neuroplasticity in relation to positive thinking, “We’ve known for years that having a good frame of mind made things work better for us. But now we know that something as incidental as having the right frame of mind plays a part in a mental and biological chain reaction that involves every facet of what we are and who we are—every moment, throughout our lives” (174). How magnificent it is to see science discovering God’s ancient truth! We must remember that it is His power that can turn our lives around, especially when we rewire our brains with His Word.
“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!”
Isaiah 26:3 (NLT)
